It’s no surprise that I met a guy, right? Where else but Times Square, New York City? Of course I was kinda mean mugging because it’s cold as hell. (Weather kicking my ass.)
When Clyde approached, my gut told me that he looked a little worn in the face – like maybe at some point he smoked cigarettes, or had a few too many drinks. Gag. On the other hand, he was stylishly dressed and polite. Maybe booze wasn’t his life after all.
We had a few conversations here and there, mostly by text message because of different work schedules. I flaked on meeting up a couple times for valid reasons – my mother had surgery on her spine, and then someone hit my car and I injured my back. (Just over explaining for the tough guys out there! Lol) I can’t front though, the third time I flaked, it was just too damn cold. Like one degree or something, and I wanted to go straight home. (Psshh!)
But he was soo nice about it! Wow. He told me in conversation that he was 41. Meh. Okay.
I felt bad about cancelling, so we made plans again to meet on a Thursday evening at popular spot in the West Village.
I also told him he should pick up the phone and call, and stop texting me all the time. He obliged, BUT once he said something about winters being worse – “before you were born,” I questioned his age. (Hold up, wait a minute!)
So how about dude is really 51? No wonder he looked so damned sketchy. He’s a LIAR!
Rather than blowing him off, I asked for an explanation (so I could tell y’all about it). Here’s part of his response:
I do like younger women. I just wished they liked me. That’s where my deception ended though. I think I look better than my age. I didn’t mean to mislead you. I apologize. All my life age has been an issue. Either I was too young now I’m too old. Can’t win. 😦
I always get overlooked due to my age. I understand that. I wished there were more women my age who worked around me. But you have opened my eyes. It’s time to date outside my race. So thank you.
Obviously he tried to run a guilt trip on me, but that only confirmed my suspicion about him being a leech.
And then he tried to come for my neck:
“You’re a tough woman. I’m curious too. How come you’ve never been married? Oh, you wanna play the field, huh? Well, lucky you! Must be nice to have so many options. So now you wanna get your cougar on, huh?”
My take is this. If you feel you have to lie about any aspect of your life to get a woman, you need to step your game up. Men pull younger women all the time. It’s all a matter of your lifestyle, approach, game, overall appearance, and confidence.
No woman wants a weak ass liar who engages in trickery and deceit just to get her to talk to him.
Women: 1) If you detect a “creep” vibe, trust your instincts. He’s probably a creep! 2) Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to date just anyone. Standards are essential.
I’ll say it again. Men: honesty is the best game.
Lying, and complaining about how hard your life is because of your age, and your current station is lame. Upgrade yourself and the best woman for you will see and appreciate that. I’m not taking on anymore children (in the form of grown ass men).
Have you ever met someone and second-guessed your intuition about them? What happened? How do you feel about potential dates who lie? What kind of lies (if any) are forgivable? Do you agree that Clyde has insecurity issues?
Categories: Advice, Dating Stories, Narratives, Rants
I had to learn the hard way to stop falling for the pitiful sob stories was such a sucker and all they ended up being is liars and a waste of time. I can say im learning to recognize the red flags
That’s great. It takes time and the ability to assess yourself and relationships. Some men play on our natural tendency to be NURTURING. But, nope! Man up. If we become friends, and MORE, I’ll be that ROCK. Other than that — pssshh!
Exactly girl I will not be a fool anymore
Yess!! He called me dismissive, but you can’t entertain everybody.
Thank you for chiming in.
Too old to be lying!!
Some ppl want you to meet their representative instead of their true self.
Lol. Yes. About simple stuff at that. Sent representative home! Thx for chiming in. 🙂
Honesty is always the best policy. Nothing else to add here
I just re-read one of your post about guys stepping up their game. Ties right in.
Mmm, Mmm, Mmm. Smh.
Well you’re right about being honest. Why lie when the truth is so much easier. And I understand about a man leaching off a woman which to me is a @#$! #^$# shame!!!
And vise versa for a woman. I’m going to use myself for an example. When I was dating before I was married, I was upfront about everything. Nothing to hide. Now some flaked because they were just childish. Having a high school mentality with a mixture of the Willie Lynch syndrome if you get what I’m saying, and some just never grew up. As you would say, NEXT!!!! Others were appreciative. Now as you know I have gray hair. 41 with gray?? Well that just runs in the family. The point is I was honest about my age. What I have learned is just tell the truth. Its so much easier. Besides, a person can get caught up telling lies. You know what our parents used to say, you tell one lie then you have to tell another to cover that one. As for instincts, trust your sixth sense. 9 times out of ten its right. As for standards, we all need them. Now some are a work in progress. And with the right encouragement and support it would speed things up. Now for the others, if they don’t meet the criteria, then wait for it, waaaaaiiittt for it…… NEXT!!!!
Thanks for chiming in! Yes, people get caught up telling lies and it becomes second nature for them. If they lie about something simple like age, look out – there’s more lies where that came from. I think we do worry about being accepted and embraced for who we are sometimes, but the only thing to do is work on those things we Can change, those things that make us more marketable and confident. I also agree that you have to meet people where they are in life. Encouragement and support works wonders and we are all works in progress. Good thinking!