2AM Wedding Guests – Who’s Invited?




Demetria Lucas D’Oyley and Gregory D’Oyley

It’s your dream wedding day. Assuming you aren’t already married. Or even if you are, you can re-imagine it. What’s your theme? How is the decor looking? The setting? (Garden? Beach? Chapel?)

Who are the guests at the ceremony and reception?

Two of my favorite reads are Munaluchi Bride magazine  (the online version), where I learn about couples’ journeys to engagement and ultimately marriage (we are all voyeurs, right?) – and Demetria Lucas D’Oyley’s blog and Q&A (folks write in for relationship advice, which she typically serves straight up). She’s also authored two relationship books: book 1, book 2.

My reading choices shouldn’t be a big surprise. I’ve been writing about relationships here for quite some time! Not only that – I love a good story. I love a good love story. Hopeless romantic, or nah?

So last week I was thrilled to come across Munaluchi’s interview with Demetria about her wedding and marriage. She was the cover model for their Spring/Summer 2015 edition. The D’Oyley’s just celebrated their one year anniversary.


What struck me, among other things,  is that she only invited “2AM guests” – meaning people she could call in an emergency and they would answer.

I would love to have an intimate nuptials experience like that, with my close witnesses being the people who love and care for me. And people who consistently support me behind the scenes. I got to thinking – who would be my 2AM guests? Who can I really call in an emergency and they will answer? Who are my ‘ride-or-dies?’ I’m lucky to have a few. Of course my children are at the top of the list.


If you’re married, how did you decide on a guest list? Was there a prerequisite for who got invited and why? If you aren’t married, what logic would you use? What do you think of the 2AM guest list idea? Even if you have no interest at all in weddings or marriage, would you make anyone’s list?

Categories: Blogging, Inspiration, Random

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19 replies

  1. OMG. Arriving at consensus for the wedding list almost prevented the wedding. 🙂 I know that we had issues with some of my friends attending, which in hindsight were probably a good idea on her part. It’s agonizing. You’ll offend some by not inviting them, so be prepared. Then again, if you have an gigantic wedding, then you can invite all, but we weren’t that wealthy to do that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are so right. I’m a bit averse to inviting family I haven’t seen or heard from in umpteen years. Most wouldn’t show anyway so I’d keep it intimate and have some folks be offended. Weddings can get expensive.


      • A cousin I grew up with just got married and she didn’t invite me. We are about the same age. I’m not offended, because I would reach out to her aND never hear back. So, of course, I’m not showing up to your wedding just to be fake. I best wished her on social media, smh. I don’t even have her phone number. Anywho, I would still invite her to my wedding no matter if she shows or not…I think it’s right. I don’t have many 2am folks..my immediate family and a close friend. I enjoyed this! I would probably pick a beach wedding…but what if the waves are too loud and we can’t hear anything lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I bypassed the whole formal wedding thing my first time around so it’s definitely something I’m looking forward to should I get married again. It is guaranteed to be very intimate though.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. If I ever get married I think the smaller, the better with regards to both the reception and ceremony. In my part of the world there’s no such thing as a guest list. Weddings are obligated to consist of at least two ceremonies – one at the groom’s parents house and the other at the bride’s. Everyone is invited whether family, friend, neighbour or curious stranger who saw the celebration as they passed by. I’ve never been a can of that and think things are best kept intimate. Maximum 100 guests so I guess 2am friends will be a must.

    Liked by 1 person


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