Ever since I announced that I won’t be blogging much about LB – this new guy I met (in fact, I promised him I wouldn’t), and posted a poem about the relationship, I’ve received a bit of loving backlash from friends.
One wrote me: “It’s a blog who cares…not like you’re using his name and pictures.”
Another said: “I think it’s interesting that in your mind it is okay to “overshare” the bad but you don’t want to “overshare” the good. I think your blog is the journey of your life and this is all part of the journey. EMBRACE IT.”
Another told me: “This new you is interesting! You’ve changed. This is not the blogging person I know who wrote about her ex. Do you think your blog will suffer? Is this stifling you?” (Forgive the paraphrasing.)
First off, I’m honored to have people who engage with my writing and care enough to inquire about the direction of my blog – and my life as a writer. Having friends who recognize my gifts is a gift in and of itself.
The difference between LB and the other men I’ve gone on one-off dates with is that I care about him and I’m invested in the relationship. Put simply, I’m loyal, and I think It’s a reasonable expectation for me to strike a balance between sharing personal stories and respecting his/our need for privacy.
Separate from blogging, I share my most intimate writing about him – with him. That’s part of the bond. In order to build a foundation, certain things must be kept sacred.
He gives me such rich, beautiful language that I replay in my mind all the time. (I know I’m sounding sappy now). And perhaps with his permission, I’ll share some at some point down the line. (There’s levels to this.)
In the meantime – and you can agree or not, this new perspective (being in a relationship versus being single) will allow for more insightful commentary from me. I can combine my single life experience – and serial dating, with my current experience – and my hopes for the future and write from a deeper place.
I have something to say about spirituality and love. About long distance love. About managing expectations for love. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it takes to love and be loved. About being emotionally uncomfortable for love’s sake. Why people decide to be exclusive with one another – based on what hopes? How soon do men typically “know” the woman they’re dating is “the One?”
So no worries – I have something for y’all! And LB loves all my gifts and only supports me in them.
Are there any topics you’d like to see on the blog? Are you interested in being a guest blogger? What are your thoughts as far as my new direction? Feel free to chime in!
The way I see it, is that life is constantly in flux. So, people should treat your blog as they treat you, knowing that as we grow, and as things in life change, so do we. I find it beautiful that you’ve found someone, and your writing from that perspective will be just as (if not more) enjoyable. Indeed, embrace it! Embrace your life as an evolving, wonderful creation.
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Thank you! I’m actually excited about the writing ideas I have right now. I think I’ll bring readers into the fold more with surveys and polls. Feeling reinvigorated! (Now if only I can execute on them! Thoughts are fleeting!).
Ummm… (clears throat) … I miss the old you. I mean , I’m happy for you . You know I’m always concerned. He seems to be a descant guy but I wonder why he don’t want you to blog about him?.. We are not expecting to hear anything explicit but the passion, connection and so on….
I feel like I stop receiving my subscription!. Lmbo….he better be the one, keep me from my subscription. I respect his wishes and yours. Yes I would love to hear anything you want to share. Much respect!
OMG, you’re making me feel guilty now! Aww, thank you for letting me know how much you enjoy my writing. I feel so honored! He’s a private person. I am too really, which is why I struggled with every personal story I put up. You know this because we’re always chatting behind the scenes. Bear with me!
From a personal perspective, I’m truly happy that you’ve found someone who makes you smile. New love – fresh love – is incredible and makes the heart sing. Make the most of every moment the two of you spend together, Shakiyla!
From the writer / blogger perspective, I see it like this: sure, we’ve all gotten used to reading about your thoughts about life, love, sex, romance, and other things. It’s like an old, worn fuzzy blanket on a cold winter’s night or a cup of hot coffee on a slow and rainy Sunday morning. But … every writer grows. Every writer finds new inspiration. Every writer changes and adapts to his or her surroundings. Forget those who prefer you stay in a designated realm. Forget those who want to label you, confine you, define you, or otherwise put chains on you.
Spread your wings. Fly. Fly with wings of eagles. =) Never hesitate to blaze a new trail or path. 😉
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Oh, but how sweet are you?! Thank you! I’m happy to have you here as a witness and supporter, dear fellow artist.
I am extremely happy for you. There is something beautiful, pure and exciting about new fresh love and its totally understandable if you want to be cautious about how much you divulge on a regular basis. Sure everyone loves to hear about all the jokes and drama that comes with the dating scene, but on the other hand a new journey in a committed relationship can be inspiring and just as interesting. I can’t wait to hear more about this new level in your life. BTW I agree 100% with Quentin’s post. Abroad the love train and don’t worry where the next stop is just enjoy the ride!
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Oh my gosh! This is so sweet. You totally get where I’m coming from. Thank you! It was fun writing about the jokes and drama too. I do like this stage I’m in a lot better though. All smiles!