In August Trippin 2K13, I wrote about several exciting and crazy things that happened that month – one being my ex having a severe stroke. As a follow-up, I haven’t seen him since then, but he called me the other day to fill me in on all that’s been going on with him on his rehab journey.
You may remember that we were together eleven years. Broken up for two before he had the stroke. I really didn’t miss him that much – number one, because I was enjoying the peace of the relationship being over – the peace of transformation. And two, because I knew he was readily accessible. If I needed him, he would come – typically within a day or two.
Don’t get me wrong. Our split was timely, but having taken the time to reflect, here are a few things I miss about him:
1) Foot rubs: There’s nothing like coming home from work, putting your things down, taking a hot shower, and getting a nice foot rub – especially after wearing heels all day.
2) Foot warming: Okay, this is in line with the first one. LOL. My feet get cold at night! And his legs were always warm, so I could just rub my feet on him! Now I have to wear socks to bed…
3) Venting: I miss going home and rambling on about events of the day, to which his response was always the same “Mind your own and leave everybody else’s alone.” (I really hated the way he spoke in rhymes sometimes. A slogan for every damn thing.) If someone threw shade at work, it must’ve been my fault. After I while, I just wouldn’t say anything. OH, but I digress.
4) Maintenance: My bathroom doorknob is loose; and no one is readily available to fix it. (Well, that’s a lie. My son can fix it.)
5) Sex: This probably should’ve been number one, but I had no complaints in that area with him – except when he woke me up in the middle of the night, or got on my nerves to the point that I didn’t want to look at him, let alone —. But that’s why we’re no longer together.
6) Emergency assistance: I tell you what – I better not let my car run out of gas, or leave my headlights on and burn my car battery out. I’d have to call GEICO for roadside assistance!
7) Being naked, which is as simple as saying “I’m scared.”
Life always goes on, but when you no longer have access to someone, it’s much easier to take a step back, reflect, and realize that with human connection, even the ones we walk away from are still a part of us. And sudden, traumatic change makes us realize that we should never take people for granted. Never take the comforts for granted, even if your loved one is equal parts nerve-wrecking.
There are plenty of things I DON’T miss; but I won’t address them at this time.
November Trippin 2K13 (Day One)
- Should We Entertain Our Exes? (Lunch with M&M) (myfemalepersuasion.com)
Categories: Blogging, Dating Stories, Inspiration, NaBloPoMo, Personal Stories
You’re right. We are the product of who we have met, loved, lost, walked away from. I hope he’s not suffering too much.
There are always those things that linger on after a relationship ends… And 11 years is a long time!
Definitely – on both accounts. Thanks.
My mantra after he left and after I got my head back together months later was ‘change is good’ and it was. Being open to the new, a pedicure instead of a foot rub, a hot water bottle maybe! But facing those scary changes has brought better things into my life, hope it gas for you too
Thanks for such a thoughtful comment. Change has been great. I needed it.
I have been going through the similar situation just a moment ago, but I am still not in that stage to be able to say: “Hey, let’s analyze what was right and what was wrong”. I think it takes a brave girl and whole lot of time to be able to step back and to think it through. And you know, it is refreshing that you take it with a dose of positive attitude, seasoned with a bit of humor! 🙂 Keep it up!
Thanks for such a thoughtful comment. It does take time. I knew that separation was best, but at the same time I was scared. It took me a long time to miss him; and it’s the little things. He gave the best foot rubs – and for as long as I wanted them! The downsides just outweighed the upsides after a while. Good luck. You’ll get there.
Love this blog post.. I miss my ex so bad at times,, bad enough to where I wanted her back.. I ran across this Video about how to get your ex back, and within 3 weeks I had her wanting me back!!
I continue using methods that I got from this in my relationship and it has never been better!!
Thanks for reading!